2nd solution

The lovely lovely Karlos-a-la-Dublin offered up a response to my somewhat somber and bleak me-me-me outpourings this week - he suggested I follow his suit and as a First Solution create a my own tribe, my own mini-me's. That the First Solution towards making life "more" than what it seems, might literally be making "more life", isn't a thought that has escaped my attention.

I want babies. I want babies. I want babies. Now. Later. Tomorrow. 7 years. Whenever. I don't care if they came from my belly or another mother's. I just want them. I know that to be true. And I also know I am ready for them - more in the sense of I'll probably NEVER be truly, really, financially, emotionally "ready", so may as well dive in and leave the maths to someone with more spiritual economy than love.

But Karlos you forget. Its you PLUS ONE who have made a family, now, of 4 - with a banana and a mango ... you guys have made a family man, there is something perfect and real, a sort of base, a foundation and something more like a circle completing itself, maybe getting bigger, but always circle, always complete in the sense it's been articulated.

Some of us still need their 'plus one'.

I want babies - yes. But I want their father first. And foremost. I do.

In the absence of a father for my future-mangoes & future-bananas .... I will settle for chocolate. Please. The Second Solution.