sad
i know i said i have been feeling better. and i have. but yesterday i walked into a dusty little shop down newtown and and the african mother behind the counter with red eyes says to me "why so sad honey. dont be sad honey."
how is it that a perfect stranger on a perfect day at the corner of king and enmore saw through my glassy front to the splinters inside and could articulate that sunshine is not coming through the cracks.
most of the time i feel like crawling up into my own universe and hiding there for a long time but i every day i put my face on and that gets me through. and most of the time the cover works ... but it seems that its the people who are truly suffering that can see straight through me anyway.
and i tried to smile my way out of her shop but it turned into a grimace and she wouldn't let me pay. she wanted me to stay. inside her shop. like the act of letting me leave would mean i might disappear.
and i am just praying she read too much. in me.
posted by highlander islander @ 12:40
1 Comments:
oh baby. sometimes strangers can see so much. i wrote this in my diary not too long ago:
I feel like I’ve been sad all my life. Today I passed a man on the street and he said to me, “Have dignity. Lift your head up. Have dignity.” He saw my eyes. My sad eyes.
I think he was trying to tell me to love me just a little bit more.
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