saddlebags

I don’t fit my old clothes. Especially not the gorgeous things I sent back from Europe (still in those 2 unopened black suitcases) or the fine delicate things and beautiful books I have in (also unopened) boxes from the Indian subcontinent … when I returned to PNG last year … I just put on so much weight … you know the old adage "you are what you eat" … well, I was rubbish - to be more precise, I was eating rubbinsh - white rice, white flour and white sugar - the 3 food groups of PNG. YUCK. I actually normally avoid all 3 but ever since returning and living here and not being in charge of my diet … when in rome etc … except my family remain perenially thin - but it's more than that - as I stopped caring for and about my Self, I stopped caring for and about my insides ... and that came to show on the outsides.

The good news is I am sloghing off the keggage and it’s a new attitude and and the old me and it feels good - I am not back where I started though - still got these little saddlebags otherwise known as HIPS.

So yeah - this hippage is a bit stubborn and its hanging around just like 2 of my oldest and bestest friends - FEAR and HOPE. And I want to shed those as well. And replace them with FAITH and GRACE (both in the biblical sense).

So … as I go to Sydney in 2 days and I am still not super-skinny or super-refined or super-wowing as I was hoping to be … and I go with a few of the old demons … but that's cool. Its all stuff I can work with.

And I am packing to go down south … and its just a small bag but its exploding with schtuff that’s ALL ricebag … that only I could have gathered and collected from various wanderings and various places. Just my the little silver jewellery mesh bag has earrings from the Red Sea; bangles from Pakistan; a scarab broach from Afghanistan; red coral beads from Iran; black jet stone earrings from london; glittering signet ring from Fiji etc etc… a yellow cotton tuille 3/4 length dress; glittery pale greem sequined chemise; softest black leather ballet flats; tops with puffy sleeves and rolly poly shoulders; everything cotton or denim or silk; something candystriped; the only pair of jeans that still fit; and my favourite parfum Chanel Allure … etc etc. So am going equipped with schtuff and some extra bits and pieces to round it all out.

And I do feel like ME … saddlebags and all.

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Talking about clothes ... I just cannot understand why Naomi Watts got such a drubbing over this dress she wore to the Oscars - yeah yeah so it looks she's got some saddlebags of her own but hey - next to Uma and Gwyneth, this was my favourite dress!! yeah yeah nomes - loving your work - even if noone else does - but what do they know!! I told everyone nude is the new black ... don't worry - they'll catch on next year. (Just between u n' me tho - whats up with those earrings??!! One word - Dynasty.)