Tuesday, February 06, 2007

port moresby & kit

a lot of times i feel things, react to things, cry, become angry about things i see out in the world. its overwhelming sometimes to know where to put my energy. so many times its just easier to do nothing. even giving money feels somehow not enough. like an afterthought.

lately i feel like a new fire is burning in me, one that is going to pull me up out of the depths of inaction with regard to these things. i have made a decision to push my energy in some new directions, i smile writing that, because it is still not clear exactly what form those directions will take. but i feel resolved and powerful.

i know this now.

i'm getting there. i really am. every year that goes by i feel i know less and less about most things, but understand more and more about myself. in many ways i feel like i am being prepared for some bigger work, as though i'm going to be tested on a much bigger scale in the future and these are just the preliminaries. at some point i am going to be stepping out on some bigger limbs and jumping off.

i feel for the first time that i am on the path to doing something bigger than me. i am going to be giving more of myself to the cause.

me.

without apology.

with conviction.

as is.


and for those looking for the subtle intimation - the novel "The Sheltering Sky" by Paul Bowles is one of the most original, visionary works of the last century and it is the story of three worldly young travelers Port Moresby, his wife, Kit, and their friend, Tunner - adrift in the cities and deserts of North Africa after World War II - the evocation of the emotional dislocation induced by a foreign setting.

naturally ricebag sees all kinds of parallels.

3 Comments:

Anonymous Manu said...

Feeling a preperation for big things is part you knowing your abilities, part knowing what you want and part chance. The tricky part is the chance bit where you have to recognise your calling when it comes around...if you are ready you will take it and then history will be made.

06 February, 2007 23:28  
Blogger islandbaby aka ricebag said...

history? i dont know. at the very least a personal revolution.

07 February, 2007 15:00  
Anonymous Manu said...

and that in itself is to be aspired to and celebrated...

10 February, 2007 22:58  

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