mymama : she is the bomb

Oh my God. I can't tell you how much I love MyMama ... but more than that, I Like her. This comes as a little bit of a surprise considering I spent a great deal of mental energy in my formative years promising I would never ever ever cross-my-heart turn out like her.

And guess what! I have. I have her worry furrows in between my eyes. I have both of her birthmarks in the same spots, little smudges under my boobs. I have her ugly right hand, the knobs on the second and third fingers. But more than the physical proof that I am from her ... I am like her. We are unalike in many ways. But sufficiently alike in some that make me so strong and so worthy that I know I must have come from her.

MyMama has flown down to POM this week to be with me. For me. She hugs me just right and cuddles my face and lets me bitch and moan and laughs when I tell a story and smiles when I share a secret and weeps when I speak of loving.

And the cool thing is I know she likes me. She loves me like there is never going to be tomorrow. But she likes me too. And that is so great, knowing that makes me feel great. Coz she is a brilliant judge of character. Yes, she's biased up to her hairline but she's also a very switched on little lady - so I'm gonna trust her opinion on this one.

She has her Faith and her friends and her own life and she's making it. And she's making sure we make it too. She reminds me who I am when I start to freak out and holds me close and says nothing is ever ever ever gonna get me.

MyMama is articulate and friendly and smart as all bloody hell. She has serious fire and now in her later years, has lost that anger that sat on her chest for so long where it didn't belong. In its place is this warmth and she pulls little kids to her like ants to sugar.

But never fear - I've have NEVER seen anyone put the fear-of-God into you like she can. If you are wrong. She will know it. If you are lying. She will know it. If you are indecent. She will know it. And I've seen her take the moral high ground and drag people kicking and screaming from the ditches. She used to be take-no-prisoners ... but now she won't leave anyone behind.

And she has her faults. A catelogue of them. She is a looong longa way from perfect. But I gotta tell you, she has met her demons and said she is well with them. She has come such a long way, by her account and I think its so brave not to be tied up in your history, to not let that cripple you. She uses no crutches. Takes all responsibility. Is who she is. And makes her circle of loving wider all the time. She has forgiven the unforgiveable. Loved the unlovable.

I respect this woman like you wouldn't believe! She rose up from the ashes, the phoenix who has carved out my future with her own blood, sweat and tears - literally! She made gold from dust, hope from empty, love from dry. She believed in US as a unit, a family, a little trio ... when noone else did. She wouldn't lie down. Couldn't. Her bloody-minded pride and intense self-preservation kicked in and kept us afloat when all around waited for us to drown.

She is a magician. She is a lover. She is a realist. She is a dreamer. She is in pain - physical and soul. She is alone. She is free. She is weak. She is powerful. She is every single thing that makes WOMAN what she is on this planet today ... and then some ... the very best of some.

Somehow, through all the trials, MyMama has become this cult figure to others. She is alightly unreal and a bit of a legend.

I won't go on for ever. I just wanted to say how much I LIKE my mother. How she makes me smile. How she makes me like myself when I believe noone else can. How I like to watch her. She is this recpetacle and she's been taking taking taking all this garbage and refuse, all the overflow for so long that its decomposed and composted and come up fucking roses.

I am so incredibly fortunate to have this woman in my life who is so capable of love and all the heavy and responsibility that challenge brings. I now realise how other people fail to meet that duty, to grab it and never let it go. That she has taken on her life and her journey with purpose and vigour and said I am the one who is going to keep this ship afloat. And she is the one who said I am the one whose back will break before my pride does.

Yeah. Stubborn. Strong. Well and Long. She is the bomb. Is my mom.