Thursday, July 05, 2007

hurtling

hello people

i am a hurtler. baby is a hurtler.

and i have been hurtling through and time and space and all the shifts in between. nobody does it to baby. only i do it to me. making me hurtle.

so i hurtled my way out of pom and png through a packing and partying frenzy and now landed in sydney where i have been hurtling all around, mostly taking care of mymama who lives on the other side of the civilized universe and is recovering from pneumonia (doesnt help that she is a cranky invalid) and hurtling into house-hunting for both her and me (absolutely crazy) and hurtling into this job in the new place.

hurtling.

been hurtling through my entire adult life. and. am. learning its not so fun after all, not so necessary, not so rewarding. not all the time, not always, maybe not even most of the time. i know why it was - all part of ricebags need to be and do A Million Plus Amazing so that her life meant something in the way noone else believes but only she does because her silly Center says her body dont have worth unless its some kind of Super.

but i am starting to see that some (maybe most) of that hurtling is just Exotic Filler (not an oxymoron) - something to fill up all the wide open spaces in between the love, which is why i always say i need that gap-time so badly but paradoxically the truth is i never allow it to myself.

so i am slowing down now. concentrating on the things that matter. one. at. a. time.

and sydney lovers - i havent been ignoring you. i been focusing on mymama. and i can make a promise that my time is your time once the dust has settled.

xx

3 Comments:

Blogger pomrugby said...

Hey R.B.

Not surprised you're a hurtler...you've been doing it for so long I thought you would have gotten used to it by now. Maybe it's that breather you had in POM which allowed you to think that there is life such as non-hurtling?

Anyway,what happened to living on your own? Well give us an address when you land a place so I can pop in for some obligatory gin and tonics.

06 July, 2007 07:36  
Anonymous carolyn said...

Oh darling, I hope you're giving yourself time for sitting on the balcony (or wherever you can) to watch the sunset/sunrise.

Mwah! Take care of yourself!

06 July, 2007 10:35  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi
how are you?
sorry if you've been writing to my yahoo, its not working for some reason. dunno why it didnt click for me to write here earler. lost my calling card too. will call u from maliks house this friday.
love baby sister.

11 July, 2007 01:09  

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