a wedding

i went to a wedding. to a wedding. to a wedding. in melbourne.

for 2 love-birds.

2 birds in love. and in friendship. and in respect. and in trust. and in honour. and in for ever really.

i love you both. thankyou for having me and for your families letting me share your weekend. i was honoured.

cg and y - you both deserve every happiness and i cant imagine you wont have a future together full of blessings.

truly truly truly i think you were meant to be and thank gods you found each other.

Sometimes you have not even begun to speak - and I am at the end of what you are saying. (Kahlil Gibran from Mary Haskell’s Journal. July 28, 1917.)

just so you know

i miss home.

i miss.

home.

i miss it a little bad.

just liklik bad. but still. i miss it.

how can i tell you all the things i miss. its like missing something you didnt know you ever actually had until you miss it.

i havent been homesick since i was at boarding school. and its not so bad as back then but its still there. the missing, i mean.

in a fish shop

last night i slept like a lamb. i slept like a baby. like a ... you geddit. i slept so good the muscling cells in my body know it and are pleading for more. i slept in MyMama's brand new-new bed and i slept goooooood. the first good sleep in a loong time. (it is seriously making me consider trading in the futon for a double-rated posturpedic - thought i'd have to be 40+ before i came to that crossroad!!)

and because i am resting (finally), i feel like i can communicate with you again from the madness that has been my first month out of png and in australia.

________________________

hello lovers

hey

hi

where she been you asking me?

i been busy. busy!!

landing in sydney wasn't like landing on my feet at all but more like heli-jumping. so yeah. about 50% been about getting MyMama better and finding her somewhere to live and helping her furnish her new place + 50% getting ricebag better and finding her somewhere to live and helping her furnish her new place + 50% getting reacquainted with Sydney and friends-in-Sydney and ricebag-in-Sydney + about 75% has been about work. work. work. and winter. dealing with work and winter.

so this has meant a LOT of travelling in between the place where MyMama lives and the place where ricebag is sleeping (ie where ricebag is still living out of her suitcase and where ricebag has food going bad in the fridge coz she is never home at that place to eat it).

so where has ricebag landed you ask? In the inner-shitty baby. i am living in redfern on the city-side of the train-tracks in a massive renovated terrace with 3 actors - all of them ridiculously good-looking, incredibly articulate, stead-fast for the cause ... and very much in the process of "starting out" (read: poor).

ahhhhh ... the joys of house-sharing. cannot believe I am back to co-habitating with a bunch of randoms after a year blissfully (!!) living alone. it feels so ... university.

last w/end saw ricebag in the blue mountains, enjoying lots of champers and lindt by a crackling fire with her erstwhile boarding school friends on a gals weekend making christmas in july. so much fun!! i didn't know we still had it in us - the Right To Be Silly - and i am so grateful that we do.

this w/end ricebag is flying down to melbourne for a wedding - not just any wedding but one for the pinkest ukulele!! it is going to be absolutely brilliant and ... freeeeeeeeeeezing in melbourne and i am looking so so forward.

in between all the flying around and dining around ricebag is working working working. starting work in a new place makes all the funny feeling rise up but its good here and all i really want to do is put my head down and bum up and just get on with working hard and learning loads.

how boring & serious did that sound??!!

not to worry. am also squeezing in a date with figaro at the opera this week and a scheduled run-in a surrey hills fish shop.

love you lovers

ricebag

new shoes

it's official. i hate shoes. not any shoes - New Shoes. hate them. i love them. but i hate them more.

my wide flat highlander walking feet have been flipping and flopping around in flippable floppable sandals and thongs and trippy dippy summer heels for so long they forgot what it meant to be forced into hard, leathery, hard leather.

coming to sydney has meant New Shoes. almost all my shoes are new. and almost all my new shoes are for work. normally this would be cause for great excitement for ricebag but instead her days have been filled with trepidation as she has been spending the last 3 weeks at work in winter in sydney in ... New Shoes. breaking in New Shoes has been the absolute bane of my existence and my feet hate it more.

not just New Shoes but Heels and Stockings and running around everywhere in all 3. (ok ok i admit, i dont mind the stockings and how legs just feel sexier in stockings but that is the ONLY consolation - that and the fact New Shoes with Heels and Stockings make a lady look like a lady - but again again its the pain over pleasure principle ...)

hurtling

hello people

i am a hurtler. baby is a hurtler.

and i have been hurtling through and time and space and all the shifts in between. nobody does it to baby. only i do it to me. making me hurtle.

so i hurtled my way out of pom and png through a packing and partying frenzy and now landed in sydney where i have been hurtling all around, mostly taking care of mymama who lives on the other side of the civilized universe and is recovering from pneumonia (doesnt help that she is a cranky invalid) and hurtling into house-hunting for both her and me (absolutely crazy) and hurtling into this job in the new place.

hurtling.

been hurtling through my entire adult life. and. am. learning its not so fun after all, not so necessary, not so rewarding. not all the time, not always, maybe not even most of the time. i know why it was - all part of ricebags need to be and do A Million Plus Amazing so that her life meant something in the way noone else believes but only she does because her silly Center says her body dont have worth unless its some kind of Super.

but i am starting to see that some (maybe most) of that hurtling is just Exotic Filler (not an oxymoron) - something to fill up all the wide open spaces in between the love, which is why i always say i need that gap-time so badly but paradoxically the truth is i never allow it to myself.

so i am slowing down now. concentrating on the things that matter. one. at. a. time.

and sydney lovers - i havent been ignoring you. i been focusing on mymama. and i can make a promise that my time is your time once the dust has settled.

xx