topsy turvy

lovers

wow. this week has brought some shake-ups in the professional life of moi ... things that involve a change in geography and more.

this Monday = i made a big big decision which means by the end of The Year of Alex, maybe even by her next bondei, ricebag might be living in another country ... will be living somewhere she has lived before ... having returned to another ples ...

then today my boss came in with an amazing opportunity ... too good to pass up that will see my current role drastically change by ... Monday next

everything a bit topsy turvy right now ... oooh.

so the next few posts are going to be about my life. here. in sidonee. where stuff matters. sometimes. and for now, anyway.

it is what it is

today winter came to sydney. the flush of chilled air that swooshes in as the balcony doors unclick, as the kitchen window is pushed up, when the outside comes inside. this week shall be the putting away of open-toed shoes and saturday sandals, the folding of summer dresses and floral coats. winter is trundling in and the winter coat and the hot soup boy make their return. sniffle sniffle.

at least MyMama is back in town. on holiday. of sorts. with her cohorts ... her old old friends and their hagen woollies. at least. at least. at least.

so now even more i am dying dying to go home. back to png-way. but whilst the desire is deep, it hasn't crystallised as yet and baby has to book some tickets so people who haven't seen her in longa time can see her still. on their home turf. i can't wait to meet a newborn baby yavita and all my oldest and loveliest ... and most especially BabySister ...

BabySister. be strong baby. please be strong. always always always always always. always. me.

quentin

Big up to my old college principal Quentin Bryce who Kevin Rudd has just appointed the next and first woman governor-general of Australia.

Quentin Bryce has spent the past five years as the Governor of Qeensland. But her much-lauded career has taken her from being one of the state's first female barristers, into academia and the public service as federal sex discrimination commissioner. And a mother of 5!! I can attest to her elegance and fortitude and influence and am very proud to have her as a personal referee - let alone the next GG.

long sight

• my eye balls have been hurting. for months. so i finally got to the eye doctor yesterday and ricebag needs glasses. yes i am verry long sighted and my eyes are constantly correcting themselves to do the one thing i do about 12 hours a day - read. read. read. read. read. :(

• and for the past few weeks my watch has been slowing down. so off i went to the watch doctor. and my 14 year old watch needs a $350 "overhaul" - not cheaply done. :(

• and last sunday night i had an incredible screaming match with a housemate that we are evicting. and all week dealing with him has been terrible. terrible. terrible. his extreme passive aggressive behaviour scares me. yesterday he left a huge (unflushed) shit in the toilet in my bathroom. :(

• today. the sun is shining in sydney. :)

• last saturday i had the sweet pleasure of meeting bear's baby - isabella patricia lee - what a beautiful baby baby baby. :)

• i wanted to walk the pilgrims walk of the Camino of Santiago de Compostela in northern Spain this coming august but last night lucylu told me i should stay home that month and write. write. write something. and i am so glad that she reminded me to write. :)

• lucylu is moving into my house on saturday. :)

le grande

cannot believe i was taking these pictures less than 10 days ago at cape le grande national park just off esperance in western australia ... miles of white sand for a black baby

sad

i know i said i have been feeling better. and i have. but yesterday i walked into a dusty little shop down newtown and and the african mother behind the counter with red eyes says to me "why so sad honey. dont be sad honey."

how is it that a perfect stranger on a perfect day at the corner of king and enmore saw through my glassy front to the splinters inside and could articulate that sunshine is not coming through the cracks.

most of the time i feel like crawling up into my own universe and hiding there for a long time but i every day i put my face on and that gets me through. and most of the time the cover works ... but it seems that its the people who are truly suffering that can see straight through me anyway.

and i tried to smile my way out of her shop but it turned into a grimace and she wouldn't let me pay. she wanted me to stay. inside her shop. like the act of letting me leave would mean i might disappear.

and i am just praying she read too much. in me.